And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
Science has proven that:
- Humans have auras
- Humans have organs that sense energy
- We inherit memories from our anscestors
- Meditation repairs telomeres in DNA, which slows the process of aging.
- Compassion extends life
- Love is more than just an emotion
- Billions of other universes exist
- Meditation speeds healing